I was on the floor of our living room this morning, winding down my workout with stretches.
Our house is intimate (read graciously small) and I stretch my yoga mat out on the living room rug. As I’m easing into my first child’s pose I notice something under the couch. I squint into the darkness…
A sock. No 1, 2, 3, 4...5 socks?
Last week I would have been exasperated, frustrated, bent out of shape over the hoard of socks taking up residence under my couch (with, if I’m completely honest, quite a few dust bunnies).
This morning I grabbed a sock, dangled it for a moment and then proceeded to throw it across the room.
To the puppy.
Something has changed in me.
I’ve been resisting my mat lately and my workouts. For weeks I’ve felt deep pain in my right hip. No excuses, I was listening to fear again.
Instead of working into this pain and this place I’ve been conveniently forgetting my hip openers and often simply too busy to workout.
We can’t see it coming. It doesn’t follow the rules or proper punctuation. It’s inevitably always on its way.
Today I worked out and then spent 30 minutes in pigeon pose. In each breath I could feel my body allowing, releasing and finally surrendering.
I left my mat feeling humbled, amazing, and grateful. I felt conscious and very aware of the presence of change. What changed exactly?
I wish I could sit you down and share with you every detail of how I got here. Now. Today.
If you are stumbling, in pain and lost, trust this: Little by little, things are changing.
Change is coming. It’s already on its way.
Inevitably, change, like death, is on its way.
/witnis/ noun 1. A person who sees an event, typically a crime or accident, take place.In my life, change has a way about it that has felt very much like a crime or accident.Today, I am a witness to change.
Today I shared a bit about the my recent story with a new friend – another person who has made their way into my life by the window that is Storyline conference. Storyline prompts us to review major events in our lives and look for patterns. I resisted this exercise with all my might and a healthy supply of excuses. It was painful to take a magnifying glass to parts of the last two years in my life. I was afraid. I didn’t want to look back and reflect.
As part of my From Fear to Love in 40 Days challenge every time my little inner voice speaks up fearfully, I listen. I’m learning to recognize this as a place I NEED to go into. I did it anyway.
Revisiting my timeline was painful and scary. And revealing. I am certain of one thing. There are no coincidences. God has been calling for my attention.
When I feel I have no choice and things are not going as planned in my life, I have been playing the victim. Picture this: Me digging my heels into the mucky bottom, kicking up all manner of pond scum and doggy paddling my way upstream. Not very graceful. And it hasn’t been working for me.
I need to trust God. I need to listen to my heart. I need to speak up, step down, lean in. And sometimes I need to let go. Of the story I wanted. Of the life I expected. Of what I thought it was all supposed to look like.
I am actively writing my story but now I’m learning to listen to God’s direction. He’s been off in the wings. I feel God shining a light down on those moments and places in my life where I’ve tried to high-jack my story and swap it for someone else’s. “Spot, please.” Calls God.
Now I see it clearly.
These moments when I feel I have no choice, I didn’t want this – those aren’t MY scenes. Those are God’s. I need to focus on listening and allowing. This is where I need to create change in my life, my attitude and my reactions.
And I need to meet God ½ way.
I am listening. I am learning to trust. I am ready.
More than anything I don’t want God to send me another practice test. I’m afraid of those. “Do it anyway!” says my slightly bigger, braver voice.
Do it anyway.
From Fear to Love in 40 Days. Join me.
With Love and a BIG Warm Hug,
© Copyright Clea Shannon 2014 | Eat Inspired Today™ LLC
Find my healthy inspiration and images from my 40 day challenge on Instagram @liveinspiredtoday
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