The line between what brings us pain and what sustains us is far thinner than we ever dreamed.
I spent the last hour creating a list. Not a list of errands or to-do’s. No, those are life’s junk-drawer, as Donald Miller reminded me last weekend. Instead, this list is much more powerful and compelling.
I spent the last hour brainstorming a list of actions I can take that SCARE ME – from giving me goose bumps to kicking up butterflies to full on terrify me.
You see, for my Lenten practice I’ve chosen to chase the goose bumps, stir the butterflies and curate a list of truly terrifying actions – one for each day of my next forty.
I’ve compiled quite a list – everything from blue sky what ifs to seemingly mundane yet scary tasks. Are you curious?
Yesterday I sent a letter of forgiveness and letting go. I released myself and another from a relationship that since my childhood has fostered a victim mentality. I spent too many years of avoiding the elephant in the room, perhaps you have too?
Today that weight is lifted. I was clinging to a title and a story that simply would never play out in any positive way. I was shackled to expectations from someone who was unable or unwilling to give me what I wanted and felt I needed. *Footnote: Like Dorothy and the Ruby Slippers, it turns out I was able to give myself what I needed all along.
What’s in a title? Power, expectation, hope. As long as I gave her the title of Mother in my life, I gave away my power, my expectations, and my hopes.
I still carry the burden, but I have redeemed this experience. I am now the mother, the leader, the one with big warm hugs always ready, the one who follows through and shows up today all BECAUSE of this experience. In my own heart, mind and life I have redefined a title that had lost all of its meaning to me. It feels good to know I am shaped in a POSITIVE way by seemingly NEGATIVE events and circumstances.
When it doesn’t kill me it absolutely makes me stronger.
More importantly, when I feel the quiver in my belly, the rise of goose flesh, the immediate and resounding “Anything but that” welling up inside of me – these are the feelings I’m learning to listen to. When I lean in to the fear, I’m finding a place where I have work to be done. A space where I can stretch and grow and expand beyond my small little life and into someone greater – the woman I’ve always wanted to be. And yup, that’s really scary.
What scary things would be on your list?
From Fear to Love in 40 Days. Join me.
With Love and a BIG Warm Hug,
© Copyright Clea Shannon 2014 | Eat Inspired Today™ LLC
Find my healthy inspiration and images from my 40 day challenge on Instagram @liveinspiredtoday
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